Posts tagged society
Stand Out

I have a Chinese-Malaysian mother and a Ugandan father, I’m two parts of two continents, but since most people can’t guess that. I’m a black woman to them...

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Blood And Water

Declarations such as “shame on them”, “I’d rather my daughter died than bring dishonour to the family”, “she must’ve dabbled in black magic to brainwash that poor boy”, and “I hope they’re found and shamed publicly” were made with great gusto, and to my adolescent brain, conjured up horrific visions which nearly made me throw up my dinner...

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My Big Fat Indonesian Nikkah

I grew up with the naive idea that there was only one way to get married – someone special asks you whether you want to get married to them, you say yes, you are engaged and then you have a wedding sometime in the near future. What happened in reality was a bit different.

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The Man-Child Within

In my native Spain, children at age six could drink 1/4 strength wine. At 16, you went to full strength. In Hawai’i when I was flying, it was “Hey, bruddha, can you drink with us?” Likewise, on Guam, the test would be handing someone a 5 dollar bill and asking them to go buy a 6-pack of beer...

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Behind Closed Doors

What happens behind closed doors between an unmarried man and a woman “is a matter of function”, however when the tables are turned, it becomes a matter of honor. Somehow, society takes collective action to cast verdicts on female honor, which keep her from realizing her own worth...

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All Is Fair In Love And War

One ‘wedding success’ metric - and an indicator of societal-actualization - is how many events you can throw. Rather than having a single event (fewer events would require fewer hours of mental strain – which reach levels akin to that of interrogation methods utilized by intelligentsia), you have events in multiples of 3 or 4...

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Speed Date A Muslim

Growing up in Pakistan and Malaysia, navigating the fine line between culture and religion caused me a fair amount of grief and I found it difficult to watch respected members of society engage in archaic and detrimental cultural practices in the name of Islam.

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The Digestible

This guy really is just passing the time, I deduce from his gestures, intonation, and eye contact. He has bigger fish to fry, women to (attempt to, at the least) seduce, beers to guzzle, joints to roll, greasy kebabs to inhale at ungodly hours, and throbbing Sunday morning headaches to nurse. He would rather talk about prostates and pension funds than hear what I’ve got to say...

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Late To The Party

I grew up in Pakistan, where one’s life’s trajectory is comfortably pre-ordained: one must get a tertiary education at a reputable institution, during or following which one must get married and “settle down”, and then, of course, oblige one’s in-laws by producing a strategically interspersed brood of obedient children...

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