It’s Only Sex

I understand intellectually that in most cultures, talking about sex and intimacy are minefields. In cultures where women are expected to conform to conservative norms, even discussing sex is taboo.

Although I’m not an expert, it seems obvious to me that attitudes about sex are inextricably entwined with the culture they are rooted in. Being a TCK, I will admit that my primary background originates from the West, and my attitude about sex reflects that to some extent. My personal attitude very much reflects the Wiccan Rede of "An it harm none, do as ye will". I am completely open to what people may or may not want to do when it comes to sex and personally couldn’t care less about what anybody does in the privacy of their bedroom. Heterosexuality, homosexuality, BDSM, polyamory, water play, "name that fetish", — I really don't care. Whatever floats one's boat. As long as children are not being abused and it’s all between consenting adults, who cares? I personally don't understand monogamy too well. Most cultures give it lip service but very few honor it. And I have noticed that the more conservative the culture, the worse the hypocrisy seems to be. When I was married, my spouse and I had an agreement to have an open relationship. As it turned out, I never took advantage of that but my partner did once. And I didn't blame her in the slightest. I was away a lot, and people need love, affection and company. I can honestly say that it didn't bother me at all. My only concern if my partner is with someone else is that they are safe and doing something they enjoy. If sexual intimacy is safe, and at a minimum, friendly and fun, how can any rational person object to something like that?

Having never actually been in love (but I have cared for them deeply), if you truly love or care for somebody, why would you object to them enjoying themselves with somebody else? It’s only sex. Generally speaking, I find cultural attitudes  about sex around the world to be pretty irrational.

I am going to indulge in some blatant generalization here, but porn, and people’s attitude about porn, has had me shaking my head ever since I was old enough to think rationally about it, too. I am not saying that porn cannot be exploitative or degrading. Of course it can be. But I have always been gobsmacked by the fact that it seems perfectly acceptable, both on TV and in movies, to allow people of all ages to see the most brutal horror shows that have people being killed in grotesque ways left and right, with blood flying and viscera coating the walls instead of allowing people to see other individuals engaging in sexual acts.: Well! We can't allow that! That's really bad!

I am sorry but I can't think of anything constructive to say about an attitude like that. It is so irrational as to be insane.

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“An it harm none, do as ye will.” I wish that people would follow the Wiccan Rede. It seems to make so much sense and the world would be a much better place of tolerance, openness, affection, and love. Sex can and should be a natural extension of these emotions and the human experience. It is a pity it often is something else entirely.

Sex. A Tokyo Expat's View.

Sex. A Tokyo Expat's View.

This Friend with Benefits

This Friend with Benefits